Just Keep Swimming

 

I'm sure you are all familiar with Dorie...

 

 

and her wonderful advice to just keep swimming through the tough currents of life.  Lately, I have really heeded her advice.  Life has been crazy since we returned from Africa.  Although our family has changed, life has not.  There is still everything we had before...but now we have 2 more children with their challenges....and more doctor's appointments, and speech, and occupational therapy.

Last week, there was just too much.  Everyday, I had an appointment...doctor for Malachi, doctor for Noah, speech for Malachi, etc....  Then, there was the reason for the appointments....INFECTIONS!  Medicine needed to be dealt out morning and evening for 10 days, 14 days, and 4 weeks.  At work, I was elected to take the new student with many "challenges".  SERIOUSLY!!!

Yesterday I read this in a blog I follow...

the pressure to be good enough, to be holy enough, to be quiet enough, or wise enough or all the “enough’s” that fill our head and make us neurotic about who we are and how we should live.

The “enough’s” make me tired.  And I think they make a lot of us are real tired, because in all the enough’s we begin to lose ourselves in order to be something else…something better…something expected…so far from who we really are that when we fall apart, we just give up.

We stop trying. We think, “why bother, I will never change.”
And the lie sinks deep and we believe it for so long, and man it hurts.

But here comes the upside, the so unbelievably bright side: when you are just done, and broken, and tired, you’ve made it.
You are now about to experience the most profound, amazing, life-altering, freedom and grace that will set you so free you are going to fly.

When you are broken enough and tired enough and angry enough that you just can’t mold yourself, fix yourself, do better, be better, when you are just done, grace is lavished on you like nothing you’ve ever experienced.

The world opens up and humility surrounds you and compassion overtakes you because you realize that life is just so hard and “everyone is facing a hard battle”, and instead of trying to be kind, you just become kind.

And you become grace to others.
And when you realize how much you can’t change yourself, you can see others as broken beautiful ones as well who are just trying to make it through this hard life, and you just want to love them and nod your head at them and say, “I know, I know. And I love you just the same.”

Funny, what happens when you stop trying so hard to become what you already are in Christ; you begin to exhibit the things you were trying so hard to do. I’ll tell you why: it’s because you really get love, and you really get loving God and loving others, and you so deeply get grace. When the Law of loving slays you good, you can do nothing but love.

You still make messes and wound hearts and say stupid things, but you never stop loving and extending grace, because it’s all over you now.


At first, when I read this I began to feel guilty...oh my goodness, I need to try and be more humble, gracious, kind, and compassionate.  How am I going to do that?  Is there a book to read...cliff notes maybe  (does anybody use those anymore)?  Then, slowly, it began to dawn on me...I need to give up...I need to realize that I will never be good enough in and of myself...I need to let God take over and accept His humility, grace, kindness, and compassion

I am truly hoping that this "hot mess"  (who is struggling to raise 5 kids, be an effective teacher in an ever changing educational system, be a good wife and daughter and friend) is learning to extend humility, compassion, kindness, and grace.  Because, the Lord knows, that I need everyone to extend humility, compassion, kindness, and grace to me as I just "keep swimming".