His Ways

Quickly after we brought Anna home from Guatemala, I discovered being an adoptive parent is different than being a biological parent.  Now, don't get me wrong, in most ways it is exactly the same.  You still feed, change diapers, potty train, take to the doctor, worry over, pray for, discipline....and love to pieces.
 
However, the adopted child has a past (often times unknown), a huge loss, and different genes.  So, I began to pray that we would become friends with another adoptive family.  Someone that could truly understand our journey.  Another adoptive family that would show Anna that families are made in different ways.  Then, Brian's sister adopted a little girl from Guatemala...finally, we personally knew someone that had adopted.  But, we live two and a half hours away and that means limited contact with them.  So, I continued to pray!

I have prayed this same request for over 6 years.  Finally, our dear friends decided to adopt.  I was so excited...now, we have friends that are adoptive parents.  I thought my prayers had been answered!  How silly I am...
God's plans are so much bigger!  Through adoption classes and several mutual friends...we have met and been in contact with several adoptive families.  Tonight, we are having 4 families over for dinner that are in the process of adopting or have already adopted.  We will have China, Peru, Guatemala, and the D.R. Congo represented.  I stand in awe of God's plans and His ways.

Isaiah 55:9 
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Special Needs

As a teacher, I have had many opportunities to work with special needs that have ranged from minor to quite severe.  Before I had children, I had definite opinions about how the parents should approach these special needs.  I had tons of "I never would ______.  I always would ______."

Then,

God blessed me with some children with some special needs.  My first experience was when we figured out our daughter was allergic to tree nuts.  I read the websites, I informed our families of how menu choices would have to change, and I took all nuts out of our home.  Then, with the help of a dear friend, I tackled a school system and their need to serve banana nut bread.

This school year, we have also dealt with some issues surrounding our daughter's free, often distracted spirit...and her academic struggles.  This has led me to sit on the other side of the table....and listen as they discuss my child like she is a statistic.  It has also caused me to explore some options I said "I never would..."

Now, I am blessed again with another special child.  The speech therapist says its apraxia.  Speech apraxia is defined as...
A severe speech disorder characterized by inability to speak, or a severe struggle to speak clearly. Apraxia of speech occurs when the oral- motor muscles do not or cannot obey commands from the brain, or when the brain cannot reliably send those commands.
I have spoken to several speech therapist and teachers.  I have heard the technical definitions.  I have listened to the opinions of how successful speech therapy can be, what the future looks like, and success rates with others diagnosed with apraxia.
Yet, somehow, I can't read all the websites or watch the videos of adults who suffer with speech apraxia.  There is a part of me that just doesn't want to know what could be.  I just want to hold out hope that one day he is just going to start talking and never shut up.  I want him to have a normal, speaking future.  I want him to grow, participate in a general education classroom, praise Jesus, play sports, go on dates, get married, and have a family. Does that make me crazy?  oblivious?  Am I sticking my head in the sand?

I am unsure of what I am becoming.  However, I do not want you to judge me.  I just want you to support me...let me stick my head in the sand as long as I want.  When I am ready, I will pull it up.  

As for my teaching career...Now, I want to try and understand the parents of my students...no judgements, no overwhelming advice, just try to understand where they are coming from in their process of acceptance.   

You Want to Do What?!?!?!

I like order!  I like everything where it belongs!  I like neat!  Most times, I think this is a positive character trait...although, with 5 kids, I am beginning to think it is a character flaw.  To keep a neat house with 5 kids is a full time job...that never seems done.  Sometimes, when I should be playing with my kids, I am cleaning, organizing, straightening, and then re-cleaning.

My husband is quite the opposite.  He loves to play!  He loves to have company no matter what state the house is in.  He will "waste" a whole day puttering around doing nothing on my list...but playing soccer, peek around the corner, and making bead key chains with the kids. 

So, this spring, he had a great idea...let's hatch some of the chicken's eggs!  Right away, I am thinking...this is not a good idea.  What is the point?  We don't need more chickens.  How much time is this going to take?  Couldn't we better spend our time cleaning the garage?  Luckily, he often goes on with his frivolous plans.  Last Saturday, he came home with an incubator.  Somehow, the incubator is now on my kitchen counter.  I am confused as to how this happened...this incubator does not fit in with my no clutter on the counter rule....nor does it match my kitchen decor.  Despite my wants, we are hatching chicken eggs on my kitchen counter.  The kids are so excited.  They are counting down the days until they hatch. 

Even though, you probably won't find me rotating chicken eggs....or even holding the chicks.  I am so glad that God has blessed my kids with such a GREAT dad!