When He's There...and You Want to Be Too

This week has been hard for me.  My husband is in Guatemala loving on the children at Dorie's Promise and working in the surrounding community of Guatemala City.  It hasn't been hard because he is gone (although that is no walk in the park).  It is hard because I want to be there. 

Eight years ago, I stepped foot in Guatemala to meet my daughter...and since then my life has never been the same. 

 

I have grown to love the people and culture of Guatemala.  In addition, God has placed a burden on my heart for orphans who will never know the love of a forever family.

 

So, when I  skype with him and hear his excitement for the people he is meeting or the lives that are being changed with water filters, chicken coops, and cement floors....I feel jealous!  I know God has called me here, at home, for this week...but knowing God's plan and truly accepting God's plan are often two different things.  As I am here canning green beans, doing laundry, making meals, going to speech therapy appointments, I often feel like God had to have more than this in mind for me.  I mean He gave me this huge heart for orphans...and I haven't been on a missions trip in two years.  What is going on...has He forgotten that He placed these desires in my heart....does He not see that others are living out my "heart"?

As I was having a pity party for myself, I received this email from my dear friend who is also in Guatemala this week.
"To think this all goes back to Brian and you adopting Anna! You guys never knew how this would have grown and how many people would be coming to the special place in your heart-Guatemala"
It was like God was giving me a hug and telling me to hold on...He hasn't forgotten me...He has a plan much bigger than I could ever imagine.  So, I am choosing to thank God for the little girl who changed my heart...

and the people who gave up their week of vacation to love on "the least of these" in  Guatemala.

 

Psalm 27:14  "Wait for the Lord.  Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord."

Traveling with 5 Kids Is A Lot like a Circus

Our family has been "on the road" the past couple of weeks.  We went camping with the Siegrist clan...

and visited Myrtle Beach with my parents....

On top of the crazy moments that go with feeding, bathing, and sleeping children in a new situations, I have some really funny travel moments (actually I am not sure funny is the right word but sometimes all you can do is laugh ;)

*Noah "accidentally" rides his bike into the lake.  Now, Noah is a very intelligent young man...tell me, how do you ride your bike into a lake, not a puddle, A LAKE!!!

*We stopped at a disgusting gas station for a bathroom break.  We had to stop here because the traffic was at a  stand still and we needed a bathroom.  Malachi is potty training so I took him to the bathroom.  Why must little kids put their hands on the toilet seat???    Despite this, I took him to the bathroom, turned my head to flush the toilet with a paper towel....Malachi picks up a plunger and touches the end that goes in the toilet.   YUCK!!!!

*After our breakfast stop at Cracker Barrel, I take 3 kids to the bathroom.  The girls each go into their stalls to use the restroom.  I take Malachi in a stall with me.  While he is going potty, I realize breakfast is not agreeing with my stomach.  So, I am trying to deal with my situation and keep Malachi from opening the stall door and touching the floor or walls.  In addition, I need to  make the girls stand still outside the stall.  FUN TIMES!!! Why doesn't Brian ever get into these situations?

*My mom got the boys these little pull behind wagons for the beach.  We rattled all the way down to the beach.  A lady met us on the way back and said, "I love your wagons.  I heard them going down to the beach early this morning."  Not sure she really loved them...

*Noah, along with his buddy, caught a lizard.  He was so happy!  We went to the beach, came back to the condo....the lizard was fine.  We went to the pool for a short time, came in to eat lunch...the lizard was dead.  Oh, the crying....you would have thought a person died.  Lucky for Noah (not me), his buddy gave him one of the smaller lizard he had caught.  So, now, we have a pet lizard.

 

 

 

All in all, we had some great vacations...and made some great memories! 

Racism is For Real

With all the recent events like the Trayvon Martin/Zimmerman trial and Paula Deen's racial slurs/attitude, I have been thinking about this world in which my children are growing up.  I have always known that racism exists...unfortunately, I have known far too many racist people.  However, it wasn't until bringing the boys home, that I realized IT IS EVERYWHERE!!!  It is not always presented with an in your face comment, but it is the way people act when a group of African American boys walk by, or a joke that is degrading to Hispanic people, or someone describing another human "as black, I mean really black".   (By the way---I absolutely hate this...what does it matter if they are light brown, dark brown, or black...are they more or less of a person by the degree of color in their skin...do I describe  you as "white, I mean really white"?)

As an adoptive mother, it is impossible for me to go anywhere with my children without people staring.  Now, some are staring because they are curious about adoption.  Some are staring because I have so many children.  However, some are staring because they disagree with our family makeup...and it is evident in their facial expressions. 

When you have children that are a different race than you, you become much more aware of the prevalence of racism and attitudes towards people of different races and ethnicities (both within yourself and those you come in contact with).  Over the past few months, I have noticed several cases/attitudes and it has really made me think about how my boys and oldest girl are going to be treated differently because of the color of their skin.  It will not matter to some that they were raised by the same parents as my biological children...whether they have good moral character or not...all that will matter is that they are not white!  That to me is heartbreaking and infuriating!

So, from this point forward, I am going to call people out on their off-handed remarks.  (This will be very challenging for me as I hate confrontation.)  However, I can not let my children grow up thinking that I think less of them because their skin doesn't match mine. I figure I might offend some people, but I'm willing to do that for my children.  I love them too much to not try and make the world a place "where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character." (Martin Luther King Jr.)