A little over a week ago, we discovered that despite our plans we will now travel to pick up Malachi and Isaac. They will not be escorted here as we had planned on throughout the whole adoption process. So, the week has been filled with reading up on travel itineraries, needed items, and necessary vaccinations. Today, I visited two different doctors in order to receive the vaccines I need to travel. So, tonight, I sit here with tender arms and a very nervous heart. I have been vaccinated for yellow fever, typhoid fever, Hepatitis A and B, and given anti-malaria medicine. Physically, I am ready to "go"! Emotionally, I am really quite nervous!
As I was getting my shots and my nerves were high, I thought about the end result...holding my sons and bringing them home to be part of their forever family. I would have endured more shots, more medicine...if that is what it took to bring them home. And, then it hit me, my Saviour endured beatings, ridicule, and death so that He could bring me home to be part of His forever family...WOW!!!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
That's Not for Me!
Let me warn you before you even start reading...this post may offend some of you! This topic is something I am passionate about...therefore, I have strong words to say. I have been living adoption and the responses it gets for some time now...and here is my venting :)
Ever since we started the adoption journey back in 2004, we have gotten a variety of responses to our endeavors. Lately, I have repeatedly heard the same response and it is beginning to annoy me! "That is great of you guys but adoption is just not for me." Being that I avoid conflict at all cost, I smile, nod, and move the conversation on. However, what I wish is could say is "WHY? Why is adoption not for you? Are you afraid of having a child that looks or acts different than you? Are you afraid you won't be able to love someone who isn't your blood? Are you afraid it will be hard/uncomfortable? Are you afraid to give up your luxurious lifestyle? Is giving a child love and a home not for you? Why is it that adoption is not for you?"
In A Mother for Choco, a children's book about adoption, the adoptive mother asks "If you had a mommy, what would she do?" The orphan bird responds," She would hold me. She would kiss me. She would sing and dance with me to cheer me up." In some ways it is that simple! Now, don't think I am saying that there are not hard days, extremely hard days. Don't think I am downplaying the ignorant comments you get because your family looks different. Don't think I am saying it is always "a walk in the park" but what I am saying is...uncomfortable, hard places are where we truly experience God and see God's heart.
So, I am jumping out of the boat like Peter. We are going to become of family of 7 with 3 adopted children. We will enjoy the hugs, kisses, dancing, and singing. And, with God's help, we will endure the hard days when we get ignorant comments or wonder why our birth mothers couldn't keep us. However, I know on the good days and the bad days, my Heavenly Father will be with me. I pray that I keep my eyes focused on Him and not on this world.
I will leave you with one last quote from Kisses from Katie. "The truth is that the 143 million orphaned children and the 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases and the 8.5 million who work as child slaves, prostitutes, or under other horrific condition and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million needy children. And though at first glance that looks like a big number, 2.1 billion people on this earth proclaim to be Christians. The truth is that if only 8 percent of the Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics left. The truth is that He loves these children just as much as He loves me and now that I know, I am responsible."
Ever since we started the adoption journey back in 2004, we have gotten a variety of responses to our endeavors. Lately, I have repeatedly heard the same response and it is beginning to annoy me! "That is great of you guys but adoption is just not for me." Being that I avoid conflict at all cost, I smile, nod, and move the conversation on. However, what I wish is could say is "WHY? Why is adoption not for you? Are you afraid of having a child that looks or acts different than you? Are you afraid you won't be able to love someone who isn't your blood? Are you afraid it will be hard/uncomfortable? Are you afraid to give up your luxurious lifestyle? Is giving a child love and a home not for you? Why is it that adoption is not for you?"
In A Mother for Choco, a children's book about adoption, the adoptive mother asks "If you had a mommy, what would she do?" The orphan bird responds," She would hold me. She would kiss me. She would sing and dance with me to cheer me up." In some ways it is that simple! Now, don't think I am saying that there are not hard days, extremely hard days. Don't think I am downplaying the ignorant comments you get because your family looks different. Don't think I am saying it is always "a walk in the park" but what I am saying is...uncomfortable, hard places are where we truly experience God and see God's heart.
So, I am jumping out of the boat like Peter. We are going to become of family of 7 with 3 adopted children. We will enjoy the hugs, kisses, dancing, and singing. And, with God's help, we will endure the hard days when we get ignorant comments or wonder why our birth mothers couldn't keep us. However, I know on the good days and the bad days, my Heavenly Father will be with me. I pray that I keep my eyes focused on Him and not on this world.
I will leave you with one last quote from Kisses from Katie. "The truth is that the 143 million orphaned children and the 11 million who starve to death or die from preventable diseases and the 8.5 million who work as child slaves, prostitutes, or under other horrific condition and the 2.3 million who live with HIV add up to 164.8 million needy children. And though at first glance that looks like a big number, 2.1 billion people on this earth proclaim to be Christians. The truth is that if only 8 percent of the Christians would care for one more child, there would not be any statistics left. The truth is that He loves these children just as much as He loves me and now that I know, I am responsible."
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
I Think I Am Missing the Point!!!
I just returned from spending a gorgeous 6 days at the Atlantis in the Bahamas. Everything there is beautiful, breathtaking, and EXPENSIVE!!!!
A cheap meal, while delicious, would cost around $50 for the two of us. Almost without thinking, we would eat, pay, and go on our merry way. We were surrounded by wealth. Someone mentioned an outlet store where you could get things from the pricier hotel stores for cheap. So, being that I love a bargain, we searched it out...a bathing suit on sale for $285 but that was of course marked down from the $450 originally! I was astounded and so quick to pass judgement. I mean don't these people know that a $450 bathing suit could feed a village in Africa or send several Guatemala children to school.
It just so happened while there, I was reading the book Kisses from Katie (a book I would highly recommend). So, there I was sitting on the beach soaking up the sun with a belly full of expensive, tasty food, and passing judgement on all these "people" who were spending $12 on a drink and $450 on a bathing suit. Then, it hit me, I am just like "those people" and maybe worse...I have seen poverty,
I have vowed I would not get sucked in to the American "materialistic mentality" again, and yet I have. I spend money at Target and don't even think twice about it. I want it...I might wait for a few months, but more often than naught, I get it. My children have everything they need and pretty much everything they want. I am missing the point!!!
Katie Davis says in her book "I have stepped out of my reliance on God to meet my needs. I "miss" Jesus. He hasn't disappeared, of course, but I feel so far from Him because my life is actually functioning without Him. By "functioning" I mean that if I am sick, I go to the drugstore or to the doctor. If I am hungry, I go to the grocery store. I keep forgetting to ask God first to heal me, to fill me, to guide me, to rejoice with me. I have to set aside "time to pray" in the morning and at night instead of being in constant communication with Him. In Uganda, because I was so "physically poor" I was completely dependent on God and spiritually as wealthy as ever."
So, today, I am asking God to help me to "get it". I am a little afraid of how He might do that...I am afraid He might take away the comforts of my life, the things I hold so near and dear, the things I think I need. But, you know what, I am more afraid that I am going to get to the end of my life and have missed the point of it all...loving God and loving others more than myself or my stuff. Let me tell you, my friends, it is hard to not love your stuff....especially here in America where we have so much stuff!!!
It just so happened while there, I was reading the book Kisses from Katie (a book I would highly recommend). So, there I was sitting on the beach soaking up the sun with a belly full of expensive, tasty food, and passing judgement on all these "people" who were spending $12 on a drink and $450 on a bathing suit. Then, it hit me, I am just like "those people" and maybe worse...I have seen poverty,
I have vowed I would not get sucked in to the American "materialistic mentality" again, and yet I have. I spend money at Target and don't even think twice about it. I want it...I might wait for a few months, but more often than naught, I get it. My children have everything they need and pretty much everything they want. I am missing the point!!!
Katie Davis says in her book "I have stepped out of my reliance on God to meet my needs. I "miss" Jesus. He hasn't disappeared, of course, but I feel so far from Him because my life is actually functioning without Him. By "functioning" I mean that if I am sick, I go to the drugstore or to the doctor. If I am hungry, I go to the grocery store. I keep forgetting to ask God first to heal me, to fill me, to guide me, to rejoice with me. I have to set aside "time to pray" in the morning and at night instead of being in constant communication with Him. In Uganda, because I was so "physically poor" I was completely dependent on God and spiritually as wealthy as ever."
So, today, I am asking God to help me to "get it". I am a little afraid of how He might do that...I am afraid He might take away the comforts of my life, the things I hold so near and dear, the things I think I need. But, you know what, I am more afraid that I am going to get to the end of my life and have missed the point of it all...loving God and loving others more than myself or my stuff. Let me tell you, my friends, it is hard to not love your stuff....especially here in America where we have so much stuff!!!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
The End of April...
As a teacher, I typically get very excited when the end of April arrives. It means one more month of school...then the glorious summer! This year, as the days of April ticked down...I felt a great deal of sadness and loss.
From the limited information we have received up to this point, it seems Malachi's birthday is in April. So, as May started, I was saddened to realize that I missed my little boy's first birthday. We will never have the chance to sing "Happy Birthday" for the first time. We will never have those "First Birthday" photos that I have for my other children.
I hope that across the ocean someone sung to my son. I hope he got to stick his fingers in a cake. I hope he had a wonderful day celebrating the day of his birth.
Most of all, I look forward to his next birthday...when we can celebrate his birthday together as a family!
From the limited information we have received up to this point, it seems Malachi's birthday is in April. So, as May started, I was saddened to realize that I missed my little boy's first birthday. We will never have the chance to sing "Happy Birthday" for the first time. We will never have those "First Birthday" photos that I have for my other children.
I hope that across the ocean someone sung to my son. I hope he got to stick his fingers in a cake. I hope he had a wonderful day celebrating the day of his birth.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Updated Pictures
Totally unexpectedly, we received updated pictures of the boys yesterday. Our agency told us to only expect 2-3 sets of pictures throughout the entire process. So, since we received pictures last month, I never imagined we would be so blessed in April.
As I scrolled through the pictures,
~I smiled at the photo where Isaac had the cutest little grin on his face.
~My heart swelled when I saw Malachi and Isaac sitting together....growing bigger, hair getting thicker... They have been rescued from the orphanage and are now living together in a home.
~I saw them sitting on their foster momma's lap. I looked at this woman who I have never meet...who I will never met...and I felt so thankful to her (and maybe a little jealous). She is caring for our boys while we can't be there. She is the one holding them, feeding them, tickling them, watching them grow and learn new things. To her, I am eternally grateful...I pray that God blesses her for being "our hands" while we wait.
~Lastly, as I studied the pictures, I noticed that Malachi looked tired...maybe even sick. His eyes looked droopy, his nose was running, and in one picture he was pulling on his ear. Is he sick? Does he have an ear infection? My mother instincts kicked in. He needs to go to the doctor. Is someone checking him out? But, I am here in the U.S., I can't call the doctor. I can't take his temperature. I can't... I can't... I can't...
Needless to say, I had a rough night of sleep. I worried. I was afraid. Throughout the night and day, God was gently trying to remind me that He says "Do not be afraid" over and over again in His word.
~Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
~Psalm 56:11 “In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”
~Matthew 10:31 “So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows”...and so is Malachi!
He is precious in MY God's sight! My God knows whether Malachi is sick or just tired. My God is in control. Now, all I need to do is just trust in my God!
As I scrolled through the pictures,
~I smiled at the photo where Isaac had the cutest little grin on his face.
~My heart swelled when I saw Malachi and Isaac sitting together....growing bigger, hair getting thicker... They have been rescued from the orphanage and are now living together in a home.
~I saw them sitting on their foster momma's lap. I looked at this woman who I have never meet...who I will never met...and I felt so thankful to her (and maybe a little jealous). She is caring for our boys while we can't be there. She is the one holding them, feeding them, tickling them, watching them grow and learn new things. To her, I am eternally grateful...I pray that God blesses her for being "our hands" while we wait.
~Lastly, as I studied the pictures, I noticed that Malachi looked tired...maybe even sick. His eyes looked droopy, his nose was running, and in one picture he was pulling on his ear. Is he sick? Does he have an ear infection? My mother instincts kicked in. He needs to go to the doctor. Is someone checking him out? But, I am here in the U.S., I can't call the doctor. I can't take his temperature. I can't... I can't... I can't...
Needless to say, I had a rough night of sleep. I worried. I was afraid. Throughout the night and day, God was gently trying to remind me that He says "Do not be afraid" over and over again in His word.
~Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
~Psalm 56:11 “In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”
~Matthew 10:31 “So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows”...and so is Malachi!
He is precious in MY God's sight! My God knows whether Malachi is sick or just tired. My God is in control. Now, all I need to do is just trust in my God!
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Anna Is 7!!!
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| One of our referral pictures |
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| Arriving in MD....with our Christmas miracle |
Now, my little girl is turning 7! I can't believe how fast the years have gone. I look at her sometimes and wonder why God picked me to be her mother...I feel so undeserving! She is our Christmas miracle and a daily reminder that God's timing is best.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Care Packages
I am in the process of preparing to send a care package to our boys on the other side of the world. I did my research...what are good items to send, what is needed, what is the temperature, etc. However, I am still struggling...how do I send all my love, my kisses, and my hugs to our boys? Will the package convey how much we love them? How much we want them home? When I decided to send a care package, I thought it would be easy. I mean they need everything..clothes, diapers, wipes, toys, books. What I realized is the things that really matter...love, safety, a family...can't be packaged up and sent in a book bag.
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