"AH-HA" Moment

Being an adoptive mother is a lot like walking a tight rope....especially in the area of same and different.  Let me explain.  All 5 of my children are MINE!  I do not view any of them any differently because they did or did not grow in my stomach.  Try and insinuate that 3 of my children are different or less loved and I will fight you! (Actually, I probably wouldn't fight you as I hate confrontation, but I will definitely not talk to you for a while.)

However, my adopted children are different!  
When I hold hands with my biological children, we match....when I hold hands with my adopted children, we don't match
When I fill out a medical history for my biological children, I can provide lots of information...when I fill out a medical history for my adopted children, there are lots of blanks
My adopted children have suffered a great loss...my biological children have not
My biological children are growing up in the country of their birth...my adopted children are not
My adopted children do not live with their birth families....my biological children do

No matter how much I try to pretend it's not so, they are different.  Now, you are probably thinking...DUH!  I could have told her that...but it is different to know something in your head and to feel it in your heart!  As much as I know they are different, I want to protect them from the reality of being different.  

Last week, I was in a situation that made me feel "left out, unwanted, alone".  I tried to explain it to people, but no one could really get the hurt place I was coming from or the depth of the emotions I was feeling.  As I was praying (and having a bit of a pity party), I realized this is how my adopted children feel...not every minute, not even every day, but, at times, this is how they feel even if they are too young to put it into words.  And, guess what....it's not just a feeling, it is REALITY!  No matter how noble the situation that made them part of our family, there was a time when they were left behind, alone, and possibly unwanted.  That realization stopped me in my tracks.

Please pray for me that I will parent from this realization!
 

7: Month Seven: Pausing and Thankfulness

You always hear people say "God has a sense of humor".  Well, this month, He certainly did.  This was a crazy month...
~its long with 31 days
~my friend, Sarah, and I decided to have a silent auction/fundraiser on March 22nd
~we, as a family, are pondering some new paths
This, however, was my last month of 7, the month of 7 pauses throughout the day to be thankful to our Creator and to pray to our Intercessor.  Unfortunately, 7 pauses in any day would be challenging for me (remember I am a doer)....but when you are running around trying to plan an event, 7 pauses was quite difficult!

The first week of March, I was a total failure.  After my quiet time in the morning, it would be the end of the day and I would realize I had only "paused" 2 times.  Then, I figured out how to set the alarm on my phone so that daily I was reminded it was time to "pause".   Now, don't get me wrong, many times my pauses were as simple as this "Thank you, God, that we have food to eat" (while I was making dinner).  Other times, I could stop and pray about a concern or lift up one of my children.

At first, I found the alarm annoying...saw it as yet another thing I had to complete and check off my list.  By the end of this month, I began to see it as a reminder to give thanks for the circumstances I found myself in right at that moment....puking child (we get to cuddle), playing Trouble a game I hate (slowing down and playing with the kids), driving to work (I have a job), wet underwear again (one day he wont need me anymore...and, I am told, I will miss these days :), driving from work (love working part time), napping (I love taking Sunday afternoon naps), etc.  If I stopped for just a second, I always had something to be thankful for...but without the alarm, I would speed through these events and never give thanks.

So, as I look forward, I plan to keep some of these "pauses" (with the help of my phone alarm) built into my day.  Just to drive the point home, I think I am going to leave the "pauses" that happen during the most chaotic times of my day...dinner and bedtime for sure.  This way, I will stop and remember to be thankful for the wonderful gifts God has given to me!

When It's Over

The month of March has been a whirlwind of crazy weather and silent auction/fundraiser preparations. Sarah and I began planning this event in December.  The past two weeks, I think we talked on the phone almost everyday planning details, discussing donations, tweaking parts of the event.

This past week, as we were cleaning the venue, buying food, and fretting over every last detail.  I began to see the parallels between the auction/fundraiser and  a wedding....
~an event that is so important to you,
~an event you want to be memorable and touch hearts,
~an event where there is a collection of people you know from various points and places in your lives (and some you don't know at all because they know the other half hosting the event).
~an event where you spend so much time deciding the menu, but don't even eat a bite of it
~ an event you spend months planning and it is over in just a few short hours

The week leading up to the event was rather interesting (God likes to constantly remind me that I am not in control--a lesson you would think I would learn already)....
On Sunday, I was vomited on at church.  On Sunday night, Chloe was sick with the stomach flu.  I prayed that the rest of my family would stay healthy...that, at least, no one would be sick on Saturday.  I prayed the hardest that I didn't get sick at all (selfish, I know, but seriously I had things to do everyday).
On Monday, it snowed 5 inches and was in the 20's all day long.  I continued to pray for nice weather as the event was going to be held outside.

Guess what!  God is so good.  Only Chloe ever caught the stomach bug despite it going through entire families all around us.  The weather was gorgeous....in the 60's, sunny, a bit windy, but still absolutely beautiful.  We had around 190 people attend and raised about $15,000 (with more donations coming in) for the children in the DRC, Africa. That will feed plumpy nut to the severely malnourished and rice and beans to the rest of the children in the orphanage for over 8 months.

Thank you to all who donated items to the silent auction, donated time in setting up and planning the event, and came and supported the children of the DRC.  I feel truly humbled and blessed by each and everyone of you!

7: Month 6: Spending Cuts

Overall, month 5 was relatively easy for me...now that could mean I took the easy way out or maybe it means I am already very cognizant of my "footprint".  Looking back on the month...

~~I found a few things I will keep...reusable shopping bags, cloth napkins, not washing my clothes after every wear  (I am turning into a "weirdo")

~~I found a thing that I am not such a fan of...using up the food in my freezer.  My life is just too hectic to be rummaging through my freezer, finding ingredients, and then searching the Internet for a recipe that uses those ingredients.  I know, I know....what a spoiled thing to say!  However, if I am being honest, I don't want to spend tons of time coming up with recipes for dinner.  My life is busy enough.  So, if that makes me horrible....then, so be it!

Moving on to month six...7 places to spend money.  At first, I thought this was going to be a breeze. However, I broke the rules on day seven (My friend and I had been planning dinner in January and things kept coming up...so, on Friday, February 7th, I ate at a restaurant that wasn't on my approved list).  Despite this minor slip up, here are my seven areas/places where I will spend money this month...

1.  Walmart...come on, you can get everything there...food, light bulbs, socks...it is just too convenient

2.  Sheetz

3.  Online bill pay...I can't be delinquent on my bills

4.  Kids school...you know they do feed them lunch daily (I know...I could pack their lunches each day with things I purchased from Walmart...but hey, its my list and I am alright with them buying lunch)

5.  Doctors Office...I have at least one kid a week visiting the doctor.  I mean the front receptionists don't even ask my name when I walk in anymore...they know another Siegrist child is sick or is sporting a weird skin rash :)

6.  Limited travel expenses....on a normal month, this wouldn't be included in my spending but my friend and I are traveling to meet with the ladies from the Global Orphan Foundation about our upcoming fundraiser on March 22nd.  Therefore, I will need to spend at a few other places.  I mean you can't sleep at Walmart!

7.  Birthdays...we were invited to a birthday party for some dear friends--not sure I can pass a Walmart gift off (but I am going to try and be creative with something from Walmart but needed to cover just in case I can't make it work).  This one is definitely a cop out but I need to give myself some wiggle room...the stress is just not worth it!


So, there you have it...my list.  Since we are 13 days into this month, I have already begun to realize how quickly I stop and spend money without giving it a second thought.  Considering the fact that I am in the throws of planning an auction/fundraiser for orphans in the DRC, Africa, this month is already quite convicting.

 I will leave you with some quotes I liked in the book 7: A Muting Against Excess,
"Just because we can have it doesn't mean we should.
If they (the early church) found out one-sixth of the earth's population claimed to be Christians, I'm not sure they could reconcile the suffering happening on our watch while we're living in excess.  They'd wonder if we had read the Bible or worry it had been tampered with since their time.
We made it acceptable for people to do nothing and still call themselves Christians..."

Take A Risk

For those of you that know me, you know the I.AM.NOT.A.RISK.TAKER!!  I do not like risk...instead I prefer the comfortable, the known, the routine.  I like to be in control, or at least have the illusion that I am in control.  Risk involves giving up control and making yourself vulnerable.

Several months ago, my friend and I came up with the idea of having a fundraiser to raise money for the children in the DR Congo...more specifically money for food for the orphans.  This idea came about after 5 children in our agency's orphanage in the DRC died of starvation (http://mljadoptions.com/Media.aspx?articleID=908).  We realized that our t-shirt collection (in which we collected 400+ new shirts to give to the children in the orphanages) was not enough.  There are over 13 million orphans and abandoned children in the DRC.  In the DRC, 10% of children die before the age of one.  Nearly 30% of children under the age of five suffer from undernutrition.  We feel called to help feed these children so they will have a chance at life...a chance to wear our t-shirts.

So, we sat down in December and began planning this event.  It was after that moment that I realized this is a risk...What if no one gives donations for our silent auction?  What if no one comes to the event?  What if no one really cares about orphans half way around the world?  I became stressed at having to ask people for donations.  I became stressed at the idea of failing these beautiful children who are left behind.  I became focused on me, my shortcomings, my inability to take a risk...and I took my eyes off of the starving children and the God who sees and knows all things.

My husband sent me a text this week that stated...
"God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called...the issue isn't whether you're qualified, its are you called?"
I am not qualified to elicit donations (In fact, I hate asking people for stuff because I have a profound fear of them saying "no"...which I unfortunately take as a rejection of me).  I am not qualified to host a fundraiser.  I am not qualified for any part of this event.  However, I do believe I am called.  I went to the DRC, I saw the poverty, I visited the orphanages and saw the beautiful children, and now I am called to give up my foolish pride and need for control in order to make a difference in the lives of these children.

On March 22, 2014, my friend, Sarah Price and I will host a silent auction/fundraiser at the Price Parlor to raise money to feed the children at two orphanages in the DR Congo, Africa.  We are partnering with Global Orphan Foundation's Pebble Project (http://www.globalorphanfoundation.org/the-pebble-project.html). 

I am going to take a risk.  I am going to ask for your help....

Will you would be willing to donate something for our auction?
If you own a business, a good or service from your business would be a wonderful item for us to auction off.  If you don't own a business, maybe you could make a "theme basket" (examples--movie night basket with various movies and popcorn, etc; spa basket with a gift card for a manicure and pedicure and some nail polish, etc.) or donate an antique.  Be creative! 

Will you come out to the silent auction/fundraiser and bid on some of the items?  Will you take an evening and give some money towards a cause that is bigger than yourself?  This morning in church, our pastor stated these statistics...if you make more then $20,000 a year, you are rich.  If you make more than $39,000 a year, you are filthy rich.   So, rich friends...I am going to ask again will you come out and support the Pebble Project's vision to feed and raise up strong children in the DRC?

I am going to close with a bit of self disclosure (also known as honesty)...I have been dreading writing this post.  I don't want to offend people.  I don't want people to reject me or my passions.  However, this morning, Malachi was playing on my I-pad and came across the auction flier (the one shown above), he looked at the picture of the little boy looking in the window and said "Me, Mommy?  Malachi?".  I thought to myself,  "It could very well have been."  With that convicting moment, I decided I would write this post, I would take a risk so that the orphans in the DRC have a chance at life.

 

 

7: Month 5: Waste No More

So, I survived the month of no TV and no Internet.  To be honest, I did miss having information right at my fingertips anytime I wanted it.  Of course, the Eagles finally had a pretty good December and I missed watching them win.  However, Noah offered a great play by play for me. I still managed to get angry when they lost to the Vikings despite not watching it.   I read 12 books though so I am sure my vocabulary increased.  Most importantly, I survived!

Now, unto month 5...reducing waste.  I had a lot of trouble thinking of ways that I could reduce.  Jen Hatmaker did seven habits for a greener life...gardening, composting, conserving energy and water, recycling, driving only one car, shopping thrift and second-hand, and buying local.

Well, I already garden, compost (well I feed the scraps to my chickens), and recycle. Driving one car won't work for our family as Brian and I work in two different directions (However, I do drive a paint peeling Honda Civic to cut down on gas consumption and cost...and not just for one month either...that should earn me some extra points right?).

So, this month these will be the areas I will change...
~Cloth napkins (This is a big deal if you could see the piles of laundry I already do in a week.  By the way, I hate folding laundry!)

~Only washing clothes that are truly dirty.  (I have a terrible habit of throwing everything I wear in the dirty clothes.  Most of the time there isn't even a spot on it.  So, this month, I will only be washing my clothing when it is dirty.  Yes, I realize that this goes against my previous statement about hating laundry...but who says that my actions always make sense...)

~Reusable bags on my small trips to the grocery store. (Let's be realistic here, I have 5 kids.  On my "big trips" to the grocery store, I can heap up a cart.  So, on my large trips to the store, reusable bags aren't going to cut it unless I want to spend $100 buying reusable bags.)

~Using the tons of food I have already packed away in my freezer (This month, I am only going to buy food to replace the food that is all gone.  I. HATE. THE. GROCERY. STORE.  Therefore, if I am at the store, I just pick up whatever I think I might need because I don't want to go back again.  I am going to make a diligent effort this month to use up the items in my freezer and only buy perishable items.)

I am not sure that I am as sold out as I need to be this month.  I certainly am not feeling "green enough" with this list.  However, I feel like I am making some deliberate changes to my routine....and I am hoping they can be permanent ones.

7: Month Four: Will the Eagles Survive Without Me?

Month two came and went a whole lot smoother than I thought it would.  For the entire month, I wore seven articles of clothing.
(I was told I cheated once...We never put a stipulation on jackets/coats as the weather around here in November can be anywhere from 60 degrees to 20 degrees.  Anyways, one day I wore my jean jacket.  Truth be told, I did keep it on all day at work.  However, in my defense it is very cold in my classroom and I needed a "jacket" and, secondly, it has the word jacket in its name:)

I did learn a few things over the month...

1.  I am vain.  I got dressed so quickly over the month....I mean there was nothing to think about...wear whatever you didn't wear yesterday.  Guess what else, I had a lot more time for other parts of my morning routine....like quiet time.

2.  No one really cares about your clothes.  Since I only told two people at work, I thought everyone would be talking about me at work. (Maybe they were but I never picked up on it...what is the saying "Ignorance is bliss").    Honestly, I don't really think anyone noticed.  This month, I really started to pay attention to see if I could remember what people were wearing the day before....you know what, unless I had a specific conversation about an article of someone's clothing, I couldn't remember it.

3.  My dad was right.  Growing up, my dad always used to tell me..."Those clothes are not dirty after you wear them one time".  Of course, I never listened.  During the month of November, I realized that the pace of my life is not going to allow me to wash my one and only pair of black dress pants everyday...there is going to be some wearing a second time and maybe even a third time depending on the week.  Again, I didn't notice people talking about me so I guess I didn't smell too bad.

4.  I am obsessed with knowing the time.  Throughout the month, my most missed article of clothing was my watch.  What this means I am unsure....probably should see a therapist.  However, on December 1st, when I pulled my watch out of the drawer I momentarily considered kissing it :)


Now I head into month four, shutting off the screens.  So, for me, that means, no TV, Facebook, Apps, Games, and the Internet (except for blogging and scrap booking).  At first, I thought, this month won't even be hard for me.  I don't even watch that much TV and Facebook well I can take or leave that.  Then, I realized.....

How in the world will I finish my Christmas shopping?    I mean seriously, I have 5 children...I do not have time to go shopping.  So, in a frenzy of shopping, I got most of it done before December 1st.  Gotta love Amazon!!  Of course, you always have those relatives that don't get you their lists in a timely manner....looks like Brian will need to be picking up the slack this month. 

What about my Eagles?   As I write that I know it sounds ridiculous to call them "my Eagles", but let me tell you many a year I have watched tortuous games in December as the Eagles team fell apart week by week...but I always watched....I always hoped they would get better.  Now, they seem to be pulling themselves together.  They might win the division.  Where was I yesterday as they defeated the Cardinals?  Holed up in the bedroom as Brian and Noah cheer. 

I like background noise.   You would think with 5 children, I would enjoy the peace and quiet.  However, when I am working, I like background noise...quiet background noise mind you :)  A lot of evenings I sit on the couch doing work and listen to the TV.  The silence will be weird.

So, it should be an interesting month.  I might call you more just to have some noise in my ear.  Don't talk to me about specific plays in the Eagles game...that would be rude and I might just pop you one!  Seriously, I am hoping this month to "listen" more to the still, small voice....

"Be still and know that I am God".  Psalm 46:10